Can I be honest with you guys?
I'm taking your silence as a yes.
I'm totally fucked, you guys. Like... completely, unbelievably, insanely F-U-C-K-E-D.
So this guy I mentioned staying up until seven in the morning with? How he seemed interested, then not-so-interested? I haven't heard from him since the night he seemed uninterested, unless you count me writing on his facebook and him answering, but that's a little desperate, isn't it? And I am freaking. obsessing. my. life. away. Like... looking through pictures he was tagged in on facebook and deepening my infatuation ON PURPOSE. WHY AM I DOING THIS?
He's kind of fascinating, guys. I don't know what my life is right now, but I'm pretty sure that I'm failing at it.
When we were at the bar with Esther, some guy was hitting on her and we were standing in a group of 4 while he talked. I found myself examining at him as he stared at his drink. He glanced up at me and caught me staring at him and rather than smile (which would have been flirtatious and a bit saucy, in my opinion) or even moving my eyes to the conversation at hand, I, with a suaveness the likes of which I'm sure you've never seen, awkwardly jerked my head to the opposite side of the room to look at the wall as if there was something fascinating happening on it. There wasn't. It was an empty ass wall.
Also, as we stood in the doorway before he left, I casually DID THE WWE DX CROTCH CHOP AND SAID SUCK IT. Yes, I do that on a daily basis, but REALLY did I have to do that the second time we spoke? Really? I did? He looked really confused and then went "Did you just..." and I hung my head in shame and mumbled "...yes."
Seriously... If anyone is available to smack me upside the head and tell me to get my shit together, it would be much appreciated. It's badly needed.
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