It really seems as though things are over between Mr. Fantasy and me. And I'm... okay. I always forget that when I adjust to life without him, it's tolerable and even fun. I get so wrapped up in him and our relationship that I isolate myself in it and forget how absolutely wonderful everyone else in my life is. Plus, I've been reconnecting with a lot of girls from high school and that's been really fantastic.
I haven't heard from Simon in about a week; I spent the better part of a week inventing excuses to break our plans, until finally leaving his texts unanswered. It appears as if he has given up. I really hope so. (Yes, I feel like a bitch about this. No, I have nothing to say for myself.)
As I mentioned, Bobby McGee and I had a pretty emotional (read: wasted) discussion in which we resolved our disagreements and broke through the distance. Finally. My life feels back on track.
I applied to a new school last week; in the same city as my current school, but with my new program. (This is the third time I'll be changing majors: I started college as a Journalism major, switched to English Education for about a half of a semester, and now am going for Urban and Public Policy. Third time's the charm?) This will also put me at the same school as Johnny, who has already promised to give me a tour. (Granted, he promised that after given the ultimatum: He gives me a tour or I call him three times a week mid-panic attack asking for directions. And I'm really, really, really, really bad with directions.)
This is pushing Portland further back, but now I'm thinking I should finish school in New York state, where I get the tuition of a resident, and then go to Oregon after college, which has been my plan since high school. I'm terribly fickle though, so we'll see.
And I have a job interview tomorrow! (Could my waste of life status be changing?! Or, at least the severity of my waste-ness could be lessening?! We'll see!) I'm interviewing to be a waitress in a coffee shop a few blocks from where I live. I'm hoping I get that, although the business also has an ice cream shop where they may place me, and I wouldn't mind that either. I'm crossing my fingers!
Also, about that friend of Bobby McGee's I mentioned in my last post (the one I argued with)- feeling remorseful for my bad attitude, I apologized and promised him next time he's in town I'll throw a party in his honor. (I love throwing parties. It's way better than going to them, because I get to be in charge of everything AND I get to make lists, and I'm a crazy control freak with a list-writing obsession.) He then reminded me that both Esther and I had essentially abused the hell out of him the entire night (me verbally, and her physically). I had totally forgotten that until he mentioned it, and suddenly I was inundated with memories of her punching the hell out of him repeatedly in various locations over a period of several hours. I apologized for her as well, and silently thanked the universe that the conversation was taking place over the internet and not in person, where he would have been less inclined to take my apology, the sincerity of which would have been diluted by laughter at the memories of how bad ass Esther truly is.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know: I'm alive. And happy :)
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