Still Can't...

   Simon met my father last night and made a fantastic impression. I knew it was going well when I walked in flustered and immediately launched into a diatribe, while Simon waited patiently until I had finished, extended his hand to my father and introduced himself. "Happy Birthday," he added, as if he wasn't already perfect enough.
   I immediately rushed upstairs to gather my things and, upon returning, found him eating a piece of my father's birthday cake.
   "Hungry, huh?" I asked, laughing.
   "Well, I'd hate to see cake go to waste!" he answered, and it struck me how my father that response was, and I was taken aback to hear it from Simon's mouth.
   As we walked out the door, I tossed a careless "Goodnight Dad, Happy Birthday!" on my way to the car, while Simon stopped to again shake his hand and reiterate the birthday greeting. He's such a gentleman, and a good person. He's chivalrous and respectful and polite to the point where it kind of blows my mind. I didn't know guys like this really existed.
   Tonight, my father mentioned how impressed he was and I made the mistake of mentioning his job (a cross between an electrician and a machinist?) and the giant, fighter robot on his kitchen floor. Grinning from ear to ear, my father reaffirmed "He seemed like a great guy!" 
   This is the first time my father has ever referred to a male I've introduced to him as anything but a boy.

   Sometimes I wish I wasn't so goddamn impossible. I mean, this seems so easy; why don't I want it? Fortunately, I know better than to fake it; that always ends so painfully. Not usually for me; I usually just walk way feeling annoyed & disgusted. It's so unfair. 
   I hope I grow out of this someday; I'm pretty confident that I will.